Not Everyone Likes You. So What?

The past few weeks have been crazy. This week is the launch of the 180 Journey (the online program created by my business partner and me), and the amount of work that goes into a launch like ours is truly extraordinary. 

But it's not just the amount of work that's hard.

What's also hard is this: when you're pitching something to a large number of people, it's inevitable that many of them won't like it or want it. 

So people on your e-mail list will start unsubscribing. And your e-mail service will ask them why they're unsubscribing, and they will tell you. In many cases, they will be mean about it. And you will be tempted to curl up in a little ball and cry. 

Don't do that.

[note: I am talking to myself here. Because I *was* tempted to curl up in a little ball and cry.]

Not everyone likes you. But that's okay.

It doesn't feel okay at first. It feels shitty.

You pour your heart and soul into your product or service, you try to be insanely authentic in your e-mails and sales letter, and then someone says you suck. It takes the wind out of you. Your energy levels begin to wane. You begin to second-guess yourself. You wonder what you could have done differently.

But you haven't done anything wrong.

You weren't talking to those people in the first place. They somehow ended up hearing what you had to say, but they're not your people. It's okay that they don't like you. You probably don't like them either.

Remember the people who love you.

I've gotten so many e-mails over the past few weeks from people saying the most wonderful things: "I'm drawn to you through your writing," "the content you put out is incredible, "thank you for putting this out into the world." The people who have already signed up for the 180 Journey are excited and happy and can't wait to get started. So why am I focusing on the negative stuff?

Why do we focus on the people who don't like us when there are so many people who do?

I'm not exactly sure. 

But I've decided it doesn't work for me anymore. And it certainly doesn't work for my business.

So I have a new rule. When someone I don't know or care about has a problem with something I've said or done, and I know I haven't done anything wrong, I'm going to say "so what?" and move on. It's business. I have more important things to think about.

If you know me or follow me on Twitter and you find me breaking this rule, call me out on it. I'll try to do the same for you. Because there are so many people who love you, and they're the ones who deserve your time, energy, and focus.

If you need to, practice with me: "So what?"

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments.

And don't forget to subscribe (enter your e-mail address in the box to your right) to be notified as soon as new posts are published.

Click here to view all previous posts in the "Bad Girls' Guide to Business" series.

Stop Trying to Convince Everyone That You Suck.

"I don't mean to be a bother, but..."

"Hate to bug you, but..."

"Sorry for bothering you, but..."

STOP IT.

You know what really bothers me?

Women who assume they are annoying everyone they speak to. Women who apologize for their very existence every time you interact with them. Women who start every conversation with, "Sorry to bother you, but..."

Does this sound like you?

Stop apologizing and say what you want to say.

Confession: I used to do the exact thing I'm telling you to stop doing. For years, I assumed (until proven otherwise) that the person I was with was greatly annoyed by my presence. 

I had to proactively destroy that habit. Every once in a while a "hate to bother you" slips out before I have a chance to squelch it.

So I know it's not easy.

But if you're serious about becoming a successful entrepreneur, you have to turn this around completely. You have to begin assuming that the person you're with feels lucky to be around you. When the person you e-mailed last week hasn't responded, you have to assume there's a reason other than "I suck and that person wishes I would leave him alone." And you have to e-mail him again, without apology.

Admit it: you think you're kind of annoying.

Why do you apologize for bothering everyone? 

It's not because they don't like you. It's because YOU don't like you. 

And since we all want to be right about everything, we are determined to convince everyone else that we are right about ourselves. 

Have you ever caught yourself arguing with someone about yourself? They tell you they like your style and you say, "actually I just copy stuff I see in magazines." They say you're really smart and you say, "not really. I just work hard."

If you didn't think you were annoying the person you're contacting, you wouldn't be apologizing. There is something inside you that thinks other people are doing you a favor by talking to you. And that "thing" inside you is actually working to convince other people that you're right about yourself.

You are fighting to convince everyone that you suck. And the sad thing is, you're winning.

The more you act like you're "not worthy," the more other people will believe you. And then they really WILL be annoyed that you're taking up their time.

So give it up.

Fight for your greatness instead.

If you're going to work that hard to persuade other people of something, you might as well persuade them that you're awesome.

Don't you think?

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments.

And don't forget to subscribe (enter your e-mail address in the box to your right) to be notified as soon as new posts are published.

Click here to view all previous posts in the "Bad Girls' Guide to Business" series.

Simplicity Is The New Sex.

In my last post I told you to stop acting stupid.

Today I'm going to tell you to simplify your offer and the way you communicate it.

To some, this may seem contradictory: "Are you telling us to dumb it down for our customers? Didn't you just tell us to stop acting stupid?" But in reality, simplicity has nothing to do with stupidity. Simplicity (done right) requires a lot of mental discipline.

Sex is so 5 minutes ago.

You know that expression, "sex sells?" It turns out that sex has helped a lot of people sell a lot of stuff over the last hundred years - including (as I recently learned) vacuum cleaners, toilet paper, coffee, milk, and scooters.

Why? Because until recently, sexual imagery was an easy way to cut through the noise. It got people's attention. It connected to our most basic human instinct and drew us in.

Until it was everywhere. And then it became more noise. And the imagery had to get more raw for us to pay attention. And then even that was so common as to be unremarkable.

So now what?

What gets our attention now - at a time when we are bombarded constantly with advertising, to-do lists, innumerable decisions, and more information than we can possibly process in our entire lifetimes?

Simplicity. It's the new sex.

Keeping it simple is not stupid. It's, like, really smart.

When you're figuring out what to sell, it's tempting to put together a sophisticated portfolio of offerings. Something for everyone. Your buyer can select exactly the right package. Your buyer can figure out exactly what s/he needs and put together the perfect selection of products or services. Right?

WRONG.

While your long list of products or services may make total sense to you, it's probably confusing to potential buyers. Once confused, your potential buyer is likely to give up and move on to something easier to understand - not because your buyer is stupid, but because your buyer is busy and overwhelmed. Aren't you?

What does this mean for you?

Forget about sophistication. Stop trying to impress your customers the way you impressed your teachers when you were in school (i.e., by demonstrating how much knowledge you managed to stuff into your brain).

Make your offer - and your marketing message - as simple as possible.

Focus exclusively on what matters to your ideal buyers.

Describe the value of what you're offering in concrete (not abtract) terms.

Figure out how to save your buyers time and effort, and tell them how you'll do it.

If your "Services" page currently lists a million different ways you can help your buyers, but you're having trouble converting leads into buyers, try this. List 3 services on the page instead. Put bullet points underneath each option describing exactly what the buyer gets - but only talk about the benefits your buyers actually care about. List the prices right next to each option. Tell buyers exactly what to do to get started.

Make it easy for them to buy from you.

The easier it is, the more likely they are to do it.

So why are you making it more difficult than it has to be?

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments.

And don't forget to subscribe (enter your e-mail address in the box to your right) to be notified as soon as new posts are published.

Click here to view all previous posts in the "Bad Girls' Guide to Business" series.